Oh my, oh my, oh my: catch-up time

I have been most neglectful of you, dear reader, for which I am truly ashamed. Life, however, has continued in many and varied ways.

Since I was last able to sneak some computer time I have:

• been on holiday
• been very poorly sick, thus ending the holiday
• seen The Vet lots (hurrah! Still love The Vet!)
• lost weight
• put weight back on
• had a birthday
• discovered a number of new walks
• decided that if other dogs and people won’t play with me I shall bark at them until they do. So there
• re-instated the fine art of the full body floor cuddle

Holiday
I was quite taken with the whole concept of Holiday. It sounded like a Good Thing. Apparently we were going to some enchanting place called Norfolk, where I was likely to meet some old friends and some new ones. Woo-hop!

After the fact, however, I am not quite so convinced about this Holiday thing. It mostly seemed to involve sitting in the car, getting somewhere really exciting, sleeping somewhere weird, going for a massive morning walk … and then being violently, horrendously, copiously and explosively

Sick
Yes, it appears that the expression “sick as a dog” has some basis in reality. 24 hours in Norfolk was enough to give me a tummy upset relapse into full-blown gastroenteritis, with dirty squirties and a mighty up-chuck on the hour every hour for 8 hours straight. Quite why They made me dash into the kitchen for this, instead of doing it on the carpet where it would just soak in and vanish by itself I don’t know, but after the second time I took the hint and complied.

And so Holiday was abandoned and I returned home in order to go and see

The Vet!
Who, I might add, is still absolutely fantastically awesome!

Despite my weakened condition I was still able to demonstrate my enthusiasm for all things Vet. They even let me stay there, which was kind of like more Holiday. Except they stuck a big thing in my leg, so I pulled that out. Clearly The Vet, despite being lovely, is a bit daft, because she then put me in the Cone of Shame and stuck the big thing back in my other leg. This time I was smart: I waited until they all left for the night, then chewed through the nice plastic string that was going into the pointy thing. Woke up in a bit of a wet patch though, and fairly sure it wasn’t me. Weird.

I think The Vet was in a bit of a funny mood the next day though, as she tried to dress me up like Eeyore at Mardi Gras:

BORED
Home from The Vet and life was suddenly dull. Dull food. Dull days. Weedy walks. Nothing to do. Presumably I was being punished for something, no idea what though. It took a few days, but eventually They relented and the food picked up, got more plentiful, and the walks have now returned to normal and indeed got a bit more interesting on occasion. Thank goodness.

And now I am One
Which brings me to the Birthday. Apparently I am now One. I haven’t figured out whether this is some kind of Zen statement, or an accusation of particular egotism or solipsistic tendencies, or even a slightly old-fashioned attempt to question my sexual orientation. But it does seem to be related to a Birthday. I’m guessing that on balance it’s good, as His dam came round and gave me a present just because of this Birthday. Nobody else did though. NOBODY ELSE DID, THOUGH – I think They read this, They might get the hint [We do. We won’t. Ed.]

Future
Hoping to get more time to pop on here again, and maybe some new pictures of different adventures. But right in the immediate future I am very, very lucky because tomorrow I will be seeing two people who I know will play with me and spoil me lots: Mr Dog Photographer and Mrs Thinking Paws. Hurrah and woo-hop all in one!

Oh, yes, regarding the full body floor cuddle – this is me, with Her. She has bony legs and isn’t really big enough to make a proper bed, but I make do, I make do: