I am moved to write on a most vexing subject: dogscrimination. A blatant, institutionalised and apparently not only socially acceptable but universally condoned practice of ostracising dogs just because we’re dogs.
The full force of this dreadful, deep-seated and frankly offensive attitude was brought home to me only this week. One of my very good friends is musical director of this year’s HDOS panto (and for many years before I was even born, as it happens). I was very much looking forward to going; to seeing the show and enjoying his musical stylings. However, it was not to be.
Apparently, the theatre are anti-dog. I am unwelcome. The paw-pound is not acceptable currency.
To make matters worse, after They abandoned me and went anyway (where’s the solidarity? where?!), They came home to tell me that the show had starred a cat! And further, had featured kittens, mice and rats! THIS IS OUTRAGE! If it’s acceptable to have felines and vermin on stage, I fail to see why a paying dog shouldn’t be allowed a seat in the auditorium.
Brothers and sisters, dogs and bitches, I urge you to stand up against this oppression. We must join together to wee on the lamppost of injustice, bark in the face of tyranny, and release silent but potent farts to reflect the aroma of ignorance.