I am Adventure Dog!
I have braved the mighty collosusses of the road; driven through foul torrential rain; woofed in the face of the long dark night; consumed the unending tracks of tar and concrete. I have been There. And furthermore, I have come Back.
Admittedly my primary contribution to the process was sleeping in the boot, then going mental at Donnington Park services – so many stones! So much peeing to do! – but you know, it still counts, right?
First thing this morning it looked today was going to be fairly average. Got up, messed about in the garden, came in, messed about inside, had breakfast, messed about in the garden. That kind of thing. I was having a pretty good game of Giant Twig all by myself too.
Giant Twig is a relatively recent game I’ve made up, now I’m a bit bigger. Little Twig has been a long-running amusement, but They no longer bother about Little Twig, so it has lost some appeal. However, I have discovered a pile of Giant Twigs on top of a table in the garden. Pulling them out and chewing them up on the lawn is pretty good fun all on its own, but the Advanced version of the game involves seeing how many Giant Twigs you can remove from the pile before one of Them comes out to join you.
This morning I scored three-and-a-half – one of the Giant Twigs wasn’t that giant – before He came out and removed all of my Giant Twigs, including the ones on the table! Git.
I protested (violently) but to no avail. He tried to buy me off with a game of BlueBallThing which sort-of worked, but wasn’t the same. I decided that the edge had definitely gone off the day, and it would be all downhill from here.
How wrong I was.
What are you insinuating?
I like gardening. Unfortunately They don’t seem to do a great deal of it, although I have heard mutterings about “when I used to be able to garden, before the flipping dog” from time to time. So it’s probably a good thing I like gardening, because it means I can help. Which is nice. Always good to put a little bit back.
I try to do a little bit of helping most times I go outside. There are always leaves to clear up, stones that need moving (and occasionally disappearing), and frequent side-projects. A recent success was the removal of a whole line of bamboo canes from around the pond. I only had to uproot six or seven, and chew off another pawful before they got the message and removed the rest for me. Everything is now much more attractive with some large flower pots weighting down the net. And it sags a bit more, so I can drink out of the pond again. Result.
And what have I done?
Well, Christmas Day I ate a nappy sack (again). Go me! Although apparently everyone else thought this was a bad thing, I thought it was hilarious. Still not entirely sure what the muttered imprecations from Him meant as He chased me round the garden. Something about “Not spending another chuffing Christmas at the RVC“, whatever that is. Anyway, result, started the day with a chase, and then it got even better …
Just a very quick post to say sorry to anyone who actually reads this that I haven’t written anything for a while. I have been very, very busy. Plus They restricted my computer time – something about putting “where to meet young bitches” into Google being ‘inappropriate’; I mean, I ask you …
Anyway, loads has been happening, and hopefully I’ll be able to hack the parental controls and get back on here a bit more often. But for now, Happy Christmas to everyone!
I don’t actually know what Christmas is, but I keep hearing people say it, so I don’t want to be left out. Whatever it is, hope you have a good one.
Flip, I hear one of Them coming. Got to dash. Back soon!